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Mafia Mad Lib By Greg Coyle A letter from prison   A Slice so Sweet by Rev. Pierce Pacey Or why I have not another tear to shed   Bus One Seven by Roderick Armageddon Cause for Latex Session One: Osama bin Laden by Kent Lewis Secret transcript sheds light on vengeful terrorist FC on Love and Molotovs by Pud We don't need no water, let the motherf*#ker burn. Doubletree Houston, we have a problem (183k PowerPoint Presentation)

Revenge
You really should pay better attention to Saturday morning TV
By Kent Lewis

I’ve never been all that strong when it comes to the inner-workings of the English language. While some say I have a certain level of competence in my writing, the truth is I can’t tell the difference among nouns, verbs or adjectives without reciting appropriate verses from School House Rocks.

While I may have paid attention to Saturday morning educational filler, I apparently didn’t spend enough time with Madlibs. I must have purchased two dozen of the fill-in-the-blanks-with-booger-and-fart booklets in grade school, but it never cemented my knowledge of sentence structure and proper grammar. That all changed when I read Greg’s Mafia Madlib in this month’s issue. Consider it an offer you can’t refuse.

Speaking of Mafia, Reverend Pacey serves up a dish of sweet vengeance — via the almighty Bard. Is revenge a dish best served cold? Pierce will give you a few cooking tips.

Always ready to slap us with his monthly opinion, Roderick Armageddon gives us a little glimpse into Batman’s world through the eyes of vengeance. Seems as if Bats might not have a job were it not for a few hot tempers. Check it out in this month’s Bus One Seven.

In world news, Anvil managed to acquire a secret transcript of a conversation bin Laden had with his psychiatrist in early December. It sheds a little light on his motivation behind mass destruction and his distaste for Yak.

When it comes to modern-day revolutionaries, none is more famous in the Internet community than Pud, creator of the Dot-Com Deadpool, a.k.a. F*#kedCompany.com. In a recent email to his fans, he outlines a troubling trend in New York City bars: bad customer service. We don’t want to tell Pud this is nothing new.

Pud is not alone when it comes to poor idiots guarding doors or standing behind counters. A happy couple recently took their frustration out on a Houston, Texas, DoubleTree via PowerPoint. This is a classic case of the pen (or keyboard) being mightier than the nitwit night clerk.

And last but not least, don’t forget to visit the Anvil Gallery to enjoy a collection of fabulous images reflecting this week’s theme. We’ve also included a special multimedia installation -- a recording of a radio station prank gone awry. No better way to kick off the New Year. I promise the grammar in the gallery is perfect.