Most Effective Ways to Get Thrown Out of a Bar

• Touching the monkey
• Puking for distance/accuracy
• Ordering a round of shots for all the designated drivers
• Eating a urinal cake and asking the bar maid why they aren't on the menu
• Filming your docu-drama 'Stretch marked Men Gone Wild’'
• Asking everyone woman in the bar if their shirt reads 'buck a suck' on it
• Not washing the donkey before you bring it in the bar
• Feed a $5 spot into the jukebox to play Milli Vanilli's 'Girl you know it’s true' 34 times in a row
• Act out the light saber duel between Darth Vader and Obi Won with house pool cues
• Scream from the bathroom stall 'It burns, it burns, make the brown water stop!’'
• Two words – Banana Hammock
• Making duck fart sounds with your armpits each time you're at the Karaoke mic.
• Regaling the bartender with every "guy walks into a bar" joke you've ever heard.
• Insisting that ALL of the strippers gather round to see you make your P!(#$& talk.