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Who
Loves Ya, Baby From this site, I found out Britney Spears loves me. Actually, they told me that I am just her soul sister, but that is still cool. This site allows you to send an anonymous e-mail to someone you have a crush on, and if they reply with your name as their crush, then you are in like Flynn. Love Connection! This site has been around for a while and actually had an office of "grown" agency professionals acting like giddy 13 year olds. It was so awesome! The site also has a section of pick up lines for those who are romantically challenged. It saved my love life, because without "Baby, are you a disease? ‘Cause you’ve been sexually transmitting all night", I would never be able to pick up the ladies. I
See Our Unborn Child in Your Eyes "You make my heart pound and body electric when I am near you. You make me surge with wave after wave of pure energy! Plus, new life beckons our loins." This site is nothing but the expression of pure unadulterated love that two people feel for each other. James obviously has it going on - just read what Denise wrote about him:
We all should strive to feel the passion that these two lovebirds have for each other. Enough said. Where’s
the Party It’s at CrushParty.com, silly. Everybody who is anybody is there. If you don’t like those parties that require you to leave your house and actually talk to people, then come visit this site. I like the concept, but I am not keen on the idea that I have to supply my own beer. In
Case You Have a Crush on Yourself This site is for the men in our audience, or to the ladies that are on their way to manhood. If you have ever wondered about masturbation, (I know none of us have, but just in case) then here ya go. If you just plain think that you do it better than anyone else, or you are one of those people that no one picked on ecrush.com then this site could be your new best friend. JackinWorld.com is loaded with everything you need to know about Hairy Palm and her five sisters. And
for the Ladies This site has a lot more to offer for both sexes, but this page and most of its links are directed at the female persuasion, or a male that is on his way to becoming a Patty Labelle. This page describes, in a straightforward way, how to fulfill your vain crush. Naughty
Girls If you are not able to find a lady to return your love in the real world, then there is always the Big House. These ladies are desperate, so you should not have any problems scoring. Plus, how hard is to impress a lady "on the inside"? Send her some crack, and promise her that she will never have to go back to that trailer. If you do not succeed with one, at least there are plenty of others that you can try. Thank God for crime. These
Don’t Fit Who as a kid did not love to crush pennies on the railroad tracks? Ronald Dupont Jr. has been collecting these treasures since he was just a little kid. Over time he has amassed quite a collection, and has done it the legal way. Sissy’s work if you ask me. Jr. drops a coin in the machine, cranks a lever and it crushes the coin, sometimes stamping a logo on it. Ol’ Ronald has spent pretty much his entire life savings on this hobby, but if the world ever starts using crushed coins as currency then he might just be the next Bill Gates. Rejected! Do have the problem where everybody in the bar wants your phone number? If you are as good lookin’ as me then I am sure you do. I know it is hard to take the high road, and tell someone to fuck off when they ask for your phone number. I’ll let you in on a little secret of mine - RejectionLine.com. You play along with whoever is hitting on you, and tell them they are the hottest piece of ass that you have ever seen. When they ask you for your number give them 212.479.7990 (did I forget to mention that you have to live in New York?) The next day they frantically dial up the number you gave them, just waiting to talk to you, their heart beating heavily with anticipation. But what they hear on the other end of the line is not you. The man or woman on the other line has just told them they have been rejected! Beautiful. I would love to be a bug in their phone. |
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When not laying face down in a gutter, Jeff prefers to be doing the finer things in life... playing air guitar to "Metal Health" and slammin’ down forties of PBR. |
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