(Note: The following piece was submitted by custodian Darreld Gerns. Mr. Gerns found this piece of paper under a chair in a conference room in the offices belonging to Peabody Advertising.)

• Windows: Without them homeless men would offer to squeegee your face!

• Winders — thar’ good fer seein’ tha’ outta doors.

• We’re not just a payne in the glass.

• After all, if it weren’t for windows Bo and Luke Duke would have jumped into the General Lee through the sunroof.

• Without windows "Rear Window" would have been called "Rear Door" and well, it would have been a VERY different kind of movie

• Windows! We’re a peeping tom’s best friend!

• Because making those blowing, big cheeked fish faces on a wall wouldn’t be as funny.

• Hey Doors?! How many operating systems used by millions of people have been named after you???

• If it weren’t for us, those bastards in the curtain industry would be selling beef door to door.

• What else can give you a better view of the hard cold outside world with a squirt of Windex?

• Buy Windows! Because if you don’t my loser stepson will lose his job washing them and he’ll start sleeping on my damn couch again.

• Windows: we give disenchanted children with rocks an opportunity to express rage.

• If eyes are the windows to the soul, windows are the eyes to the bedroom of that hot chick across the street.

• Car Windows. Teenage ass cheeks have been calling us ‘home’ for years!

• There’s no better way to declare your importance than tinted windows.

• Your mom always said: "Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones." But the reason she said that was because she knew how totally awesome windows were.

• Windows. Crack us when something stinks. (Unless what stinks is outside, in which case keep us closed.)

• Windows! We’re Mirror’s less reflective brother.