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Dream On, Dictionary
by Kent Lewis
At least once every two weeks I dream that my teeth are disintegrating or falling out. The dreams me freaks out, just as waking real-life me would. Unlike many British folk, I hold my chompers in high regard, so these "nightmares" are particularly disturbing. I used to wrack my brain trying to figure out what the dreams meant. Maybe they were the result of subliminal messages hidden in the "Hang in There" kitten posters on the ceiling of my dentist's office, the ones reminding me to floss and brush regularly, or else. Perhaps my dentist laced my free floss or toothbrush with LSD? Luckily, before I filed a formal complaint with the ADA, I consulted the Dream Dictionary.
I have to give the creators of the Dream Dictionary serious accolades. They've combined reams of research from accredited shrinks worldwide with thousands of years of sacred pagan script to create a handy resource that offers insights into your subconscious. I was immediately impressed that "broken teeth" was in the Dictionary at all. Apparently, the explanation for my weak teeth was not lackluster oral hygiene, but a warning that my health or business may be in jeopardy. I used this information to take my daily vitamin and pay a few overdue bills.
Since I first picked up the dictionary a few months ago, I've kept it at my bedside. It's provided insights into particularly perplexing dreams on a regular basis. I'm continually surprised by my findings.
First and foremost are the sex dreams. Conventional wisdom warns that having dreams where you enjoy a sexual interlude with someone other than your current partner may create unwanted friction in a relationship (especially when you're a virgin). If you're enough of a bonehead to share your dreams with your significant other, you better be armed with the dictionary. It would tell your partner that you merely want to incorporate traits from the person in question into your own psychology. I guess I need to be more cavalier, like Brad Pitt.
One of the other recurring dreams that is particularly frustrating to me is the inability to walk or run. I used to assume this had something to do with my uncomfortable patent leather shoes, but it turns out I was having trouble making an important decision in my life. I quickly returned the uncomfortable shoes.
Perhaps related, but less interesting, is my frequent dream about waiting in lines at banks and supermarkets. I'm certainly not the most patient person, but I'm overly frustrated in these dreams. Rather than assume the dream me is just always picking the wrong line, I consulted the dictionary. Apparently, at those times, I'm having some control issues in a relationship and seeking independence.
I recommend that you spend some time with the Dream Dictionary yourself. Pick one up at a store to leave on your nightstand, or check the online version when you get to work. Either way, it can offer you the insight you need. If I could only decipher the one where I'm standing on an ancient pyramid, wearing a godlike wardrobe while hundreds of scantily clad women throw small pickles at me, I'd be able to sleep better at night. |
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