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Gut Morgen, Vienna
The following is a transcript from a recent airing of Gut Morgen, Vienna with featured guest, Dr. Sigmund Freud.
Reichis: Aaaaand.we are back.
Kella: We're back.
Reichis: Okay, are you ready for this? Our first guest today is a fascinating guy.
Kella: Fascinating.
Reichis: .and he's just come out with a terrific new book that everybody's talking about.
Kella: A lot of buzz around this book.
Reichis: It's called The Interpretation of Dreams [holds up book].
Kella: Dreams! That's so great.
Reichis: It is great. And, I wanna tell you, I think this guy's gonna be a lot of fun. Let's bring him out now. Please welcome Doctor Sigmund Freud.
[applause]
Reichis: Welcome, Doctor.
Kella: Doctor! Welcome. Can we call you Siggy?
Dr. Freud: Under no circumstances.
Reichis: Sig, this book is really taking off.
Kella: Yes! Dreams. Everybody has them. But how did you decide to write a whole book about them?
Dr. Freud: The study of the subconscious is central to a theory of psychoanalysis that I have formulated, quite distinct from the vurk of Dr. Hanler Gunther of the Institute for-
Kella: But just in layman's terms, Siggy-twenty words or less. Why should we care about dreams?
Dr. Freud: All dreams are vish-fulfillment, and indicate clearly the patient's fears, anxiety, zexual repression.
Reichis: OK, now that's fascinating. Sexual suppression. Because there's a lot of pretty sexy stuff in here. Am I right?
Dr. Freud: Stuff.I don't, I don't.
Reichis: Now there's a whole section in here on sexual symbols. Let's talk about that.
Dr. Freud: Vell, in brief, receding objects are feminine and protruding are masculine. For example, all cavities, zuch as cupboards, small boxes and the common household oven represent the female zexual organ. All elongated objects-sticks, umbrellas, tree trunks, daggers, and the like-represent the male member.
Reichis: Really? So all those men carrying umbrellas.are they.you know, that way?
Kella: Reichis! He's just yankin' your chain.
Dr. Freud: Chains are also representative of the male-
Reichis: Nevermind, Siggy-listen: I heard one time that every object in the whole entire world is some sort of symbol. Now, is that possible?
Dr. Freud: In the zimplest of terms, yes.
Kella: So.what you're saying is that everything on this set represents something else?
Dr. Freud: That is correct, Kella-if this were a dream.
Kella: Mind blowing! So even, I mean, my shoes and, say, Reichis' tie?
Dr. Freud: The shoes are female zex organs; the necktie is a male member.
Reichis: So I'm wearing a penis around my neck?
Kella: And I'm standing in two vaginas?
Dr. Freud: Theoretically, it's one vagina.
Reichis: Hel-lo! I think our producer just fainted. Marty, are you OK? But, Siggy, so you're saying that clothes.
Dr. Freud: The zexual symbolism of clothes in dreams in very common. I have a patient who told me of a dream in vich she was wearing a straw hat of peculiar shape, the middle piece vich is bent upwards, vile the side pieces hang downwards and in such a fashion that one hangs lower than the other.
Reichis: Okay, so the hat is sexy, right? It's a sexy look.
Dr. Freud: I said to her, "The hat is really a male genital organ, with its raised middle piece and the two downward-hanging side pieces." She was quiet for a vile, and then found the courage to ask vy it vus that one of her husband's testicles vus lower than the other.
Kella: Whoa Siggy! T.M.I.! Am I right, ladies, too much information?!
Reichis: Marty looks like he's trying to land a plane over there! No, it's been a lot of fun talking with you, Siggy, and thank you for visiting with us.
Kella: Thank you so much.
Reichis: Dr. Sigmund Freud, and the book is-where is it, here it is-Interpretation of Dreams. Fascinating. Good luck. OK, don't go away, coming up in just a minute we'll have Hans Grotberg, and he's going to show us how to make a fabulous five-minute strudel, and that's next.
Kella: Don't go anywhere! |
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