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Shouldn't your cell phone check your email,

FearsomeFeces.com Emanates A New Technology
by Stephen Peters

  Cacalaca, Ind. - In an era of dwindling dot-com mania it seems unbelievable that new Internet products continue to flood the market. The latest breakthroughs take the Internet experience to places never thought possible before. Prominent amongst these marvels is the new Scratch-En-Sniff technology from FearsomeFeces.com. By modulating the current to your computer speakers an enabled Web site is actually able to produce odors from your computer.

While the technology is still in it¹s infancy engineers deep in the bowels of the company are working on improving the backend. The core code has recently been ported to the security world providing SmellSafe(TM) email encryption. The 128-bit encryption prevents unauthorized parties from using packet sniffers to crack interpersonal communications.

"It took us two years of deep research and focus groups," said Lisa Brownose, CTO of FearsomeFeces.com. "We even studied K-9 interaction and incorporated some of what we learned."

Businesses will be able to create a true multi-sensory experience with the technology. The true beneficiary will be a consumer’s nose, however. Online retailers will be able to create a much more convincing shopping experience. While a multimedia PC and small download is required, many businesses are already behind it.

"We’re excited to implement the technology," commented Richard Waft, director of marketing at Calvin Klein. "Once we enhance fragrances, we’re going to move to undergarments."

To date FearsomeFeces.com has built their technology on the Microsoft platform making extensive use of XML, SOAP, COM and the new DumpCom.

"We want people to know that when something smells, Microsoft software is behind it," boasted Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer.

So much excitement has been generated that Macromedia has rushed to release a beta of their new browser plugin - ShockStink. Not to be outdone the Open Source movement has launched a similar project called Schistware. Look for the Scratch-En-Sniff branded button on enabled Web sites soon.