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Agency X: Team Building Exercises

This story takes place in Florida, on the eve of a technology developers conference, and describes a level of debauchery not seen on many expense reports. A pack of PR "pros" who were helping facilitate the conference and handle on-site media relations had just flown in from the West Coast. Since it was the Saturday before the event started, they were hungry for a little fun before the real work began. Led by two partners from Agency X, and with couple of account staff and clients in tow, the evening started off by asking one of the valet boys at the hotel where the team could find some food and drink nearby. The valet pointed the team in the direction of an alleged Mexican bar and grill just down the road. The place turned out to be one notch above your average Florida Spring-Break bar, except that it wasn’t Spring Break and the place was filled with rowdy white trash locals. But the team didn’t know the area and was hungry, and there was a deck to eat on outside, so it would have to do.

After a few beers and a few appetizers, the "band" cranked up the Foghat and Thin Lizzy tunes inside, and things started rocking outside. The beer the team was guzzling down was followed by margaritas, which was followed by tequila shooters, which was followed by more margaritas, and then more shooters. By the time the team was ready to move on, the group was sufficiently "positioned" to the point where drinks were being spilled, beer bottles dropped and broken, and the group was being asked to leave. On the way out, one of the Agency X partners tried to take a drink out with her and was told by security that some pesky state statute didn’t allow drinks leaving the premises. She argued drunkenly for awhile, and seeing that she was going to lose the battle, just threw the drink on the security guard and ran to the car.

The group had rented a couple of Mustang convertibles for the week, and piled in with cries of "Let’s hit the beach!" Up the road from the bar brought them to a gated community, where the lead driver whipped past the security gate without stopping, and screeched down to the beachfront access. Everyone stumbled through the sand to the surf, and began to disrobe into various states of undress for a quick dip in the Atlantic Ocean. Some were so drunk they could only lie down and make sand angels, while others were feared to be lost in the ocean if they went out too far. One sober soul (and the only male in the group) was lucky enough to drag people back onto the beach and into the cars for the trip back to the hotel.

The valet who had initially set the team off in the wrong direction in the first place must of sensed some serious problems, because as the male hero carried one of the passed out Agency X partners through the hotel lobby, the valet asked if any medical assistance was required. He was assured that everyone was just going to bed and would be fine in the morning. Some people did go to bed. Some people ran up and down the halls of the hotel naked. Some people threw up all over themselves for the rest of the night. And everyone was not fine in the morning.

The Sunday before the conference began, there were press kits to put together, presentations to write, meeting logistics to attend to, and all of the usual last minute activity before a large event. Almost everyone on the team was in bed all day, including the two Agency X partners who were responsible for the event and for the mess the night before. The late start required the entire team and some of the clients to pitch in until the wee hours on Monday morning to make everything come together.

As is usually the case, the conference went off successfully, the Agency X partners saw the events of Saturday evening as a big laugh. No thought was given to the suffering inflicted on the rest of the team, some of whom were left wondering if this PR thing was such a good idea after all.