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SXSW Journal
A journey into rock oblivion
by Ben Lloyd

Monday

Nothing much happened in the AM. Just some panels, but the keynote with DJ Spooky and Ian Clark (Freenet) was interesting even though it was plagued with technical problems.

In the PM — we heard about a party on the rooftop of the Waterloo Brewing Company and made our way there. Of course, we ran into Bob & Toe — but Jonah and Nick were there also. Even though we had still lost all sense of time and date at this point, this party still had a ‘Monday’ vibe to it. Not to mention the fact that it was absolutely freezing outside. We tried our hardest to rally here, and were starting to succeed when we decided to head across town to another party at a club called "Texture".

Texture was a full on dance club / techno type thing. Our group of misfits didn’t quite make the scene (there’s a finite number of ‘scenes’ that a guy named Toe can fit into). But after a few shots of our favorite party favor Jagermeister, we didn’t much care. Toe didn’t cope with this plan too well, and at one point — he managed to completely pass-out while standing at the bar. Judging from the response of his friends, this is a pretty common occurrence.

Texture finally kicked us out at around 3 — and while not as trashed as our buddy Toe — I wasn’t straight in the head. The walk home was fucking madness. I decided that it would be a good idea to try and hit a dumpster with a rock (more like a pebble). When the first try didn’t pan out, I decided to try again, but to throw it harder. I actually hit the dumpster on this try — but it was no time for celebration. I needed to be absolutely certain that I could nail ANY dumpster with a projectile when the time came. So, on my third attempt, the amount of force behind my throw was so great (and my sense of balance so poor) that I ended up falling down, but not without great satisfaction from the loud report of a rock slamming against a dumpster at supersonic speeds. At this point, I was laughing hysterically — but decided that now was a good time to head back to the hotel and wash up before retiring for the evening. I’m not sure why, but Jeff didn’t seem to find this behavior strange at all... he just stood there and watched while issuing some pointers. His efforts and instruction for my practice round are greatly appreciated. You never know when you are going to have to square off with a dumpster-size inanimate object, and training is essential for such an encounter.

Tuesday

This was the night we’d been looking forward to since the Quiet Riot show. Several of our favorite bands happened to be playing at Emo’s. This was one of those nights where you again realize how bad Portland sucks. Emo’s has two stages, one inside and one outside (covered), 4 bars, and six bands playing on this particular night (including: ZEKE, Nebula, Speedealer). All this for a $5 cover. FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS... Just for those three bands alone in Portland, I would have had to pay at least $12 or more depending on the venue. And all of the venues in PDX SUCK!

The show was AWESOME! Jeff and I made our way to the front for Zeke, where we ran into Toe (of course). Once Zeke finally got started, a mean ‘pit’ got to brewin’. My alcohol-fueled return to adolescence kept us right in the heat of the action. Jeff managed to get right up against the stage, but I was right behind him. This formation kept his experience rather benign, with the exception of hearing damage of course, while mine was a bit different. In effect, I ended up becoming a human shield for Jeff. With the "pit" behind me, I sustained several savage blows to the back (my right shoulder blade still hurts) while Jeff got to watch in relative harmony. It didn’t matter though because Zeke rawked! So anyway, I’m so abused that I’m feeling like a prison bitch at this point and I decide that I need one more shot of Jagermeister at 2AM to get straight in the head.

After the rock show, Toe comes up to me and says "Dude, I know where a party is dude. You’ve got to come dude. Dude, it’s gonna rule dude." Our friend Natalie (who, by the way, is a spitting image of Lisa Loeb) comes by. She offered to take us to the party, and Toe gave her directions... bad idea.

After getting lost, we ended up coming back here (the hotel) with some people and staying up until almost 6 AM — without a single call from the front desk. That fact alone disappoints me, but I digress.

In preparation for the show that night, and also because we have some friends coming in on Wednesday, we decided to go buy a fifth of J.D., a half case of beer. Somehow or another, Jeff and I managed to drink damn near the entire bottle of JD last night. Oh my poor liver... four days left...

Wednesday

Since today was an off day for the conference, we managed to sleep in until 1:30 or so. Music registration started today. Just walking around and seeing all the record label types from LA gave me a huge case of deja-vu. For those who don’t know, I worked for one record label or another from the age of 19 through 27... There are some elements of the business that I really miss - like the fact that NO industry knows how to throw a party like the record industry. Not even the movie studios... Where do you think those actor pansies learn how to party? FROM ROCKSTARS - and where do you find rockstars? At places like this. Oh I miss being able to actually say that "I partied like a rockstar last night", although, I still feel like I’m actually qualified to make that assessment through real-life experience, whereas I know plenty of office secretary types who think that they know what that phrase means... they don’t.

God - am I ranting today or what? I think this schedule is starting to get to me. I need a reprieve from this madness. I’m trying to stay strong though.

Anyway, we took it pretty easy all afternoon. The band roster for the night was fairly weak, so we hit a couple of places only half-hoping that we’d run into some trouble. We managed to choke a few beers down, play some Golden Tee, see a lame band or two, and grab a slice, and head home at around 2.

Rumor had it that our buddies Jason (a.k.a. JR) and Gabe were in town, and we kept expecting a call from them asking us if they could crash... The call didn’t come until 3 AM after Jeff and I had both dozed off. Now we were in real trouble — while Jeff and I had managed to do some damage so far, the four of us together are exponentially worse.

Background: JR & Gabe are old friends of ours who moved to New York about a week after I had moved back from LA in late ’99. Needless to say, the reunion is even sweeter under these circumstances where we have NOTHING to do but hang out, drink, listen to rock and just generally have fun. Now the real party starts...

Thursday

Right now, I’m sitting here on a cramped flight back to Portland from Houston. I am SO ready to get back home and into my bed and to actually go to bed sober... So, I stopped firing up the laptop at 4am to take notes for my journal because I end up sending drunken emails to friends, family, enemies and strangers... unfortunately, my handwriting is illegible even when I’m sober. So I’m muddling through this yellow note-pad scribble... I tried to make notes every night when I got home, but some killer quotes inevitably got lost.

Here we go:

"Getting re-acquainted"

Jeff was sick — so JR, Gabe and I went to meet up with some other friends and enjoy some daytime rock-shows. We made our way to Emo’s, where we were hooked up with VIP passes for the venue from an old Portland friend who moved to Austin and is running Emo’s. Then, our friend Jaime C called up. She had just arrived in town, and came to meet us at Emo’s.

It was a near-perfect afternoon. Some good bands were playing, some good friends had shown up, the sun was out, the beer was flowing — like Ice Cube says "today was a good day".

The Wrecking Crew - From Left: JR, Ben, Jaime, Jeff, Gabe

We ran into Toe, who gave me the following endorsement to pass along to Jeff: "Dude, I thought you guys were nice & all, but after I saw you rock out at the Zeke show, Dude, I said to myself ‘Toe dude, Jeff & Ben are cool motherfuckers man’". I was positively glowing!

We all headed back to the hotel room to pick up Jeff, clean-up and head out for the evening. But again, the band roster for the night was kinda weak, and Jeff was in pretty bad shape. So, he went home pretty early — and while I managed to drink myself silly with JR & Gabe, Jeff didn’t drink a drop. Can you believe it? I was stunned...

Friday

Listen.com threw a party at Fat Tuesday’s. The setting was outdoors, and it was a really nice day that was made even better by the fact that there was free beer from about 4 in the afternoon until 9 or so at night... Our crew was lubed up and ready to hit the scene by 9.

Once again, Zeke was headlining a show that night. We tried to get into Stubbs to see the Black Crowes — but the line was way too long. So, feeling the need to stir up some trouble — we headed to a few different locations to keep the momentum going before stopping at Zeke to wrap it all up.

Somewhere along the way, JR & Gabe had introduced us to his friend Lisa Escelante. I was overjoyed to discover that Lisa and I both share an affinity for herbal recreation and relaxation. So, to put our heads in the right place, Lisa and I managed to steal away for a few minutes and get our priorities straight. By the time we made it back to the club, Zeke was loading their gear on stage. So again, our entire crew made it to the front and prepared ourselves to rock. For some reason (I wonder why) I was feeling a little giddy at this point. Gabe, who’s a total crack-up anyway had me laughing in no time, and given my present condition — I couldn’t seem to stop. Earlier, Gabe had told us about this band that they go to see in NYC called Satanicide or Satanicize or something like that. Anyway, their act requires Satanicide to wear G-strings and masks and at certain points in the show, belt out "This is Totally Awesome" in a falsetto that Gabe swears sounds like a cross between Rob Halford and Geddy Lee. So Gabe kept mimicking "This is Totally Awesome" (T.I.T.A.) during the entire trip. For whatever reason, and to my absolute delight, Gabe climbed up onstage before the Zeke show started, saluted the crowd with both hands formed into the devil horns, and did his "This is Totally Awesome" thing into the mic... I was laughing so hard at this point that I was leaning on the guy next to me and tears were streaming down my face... The rest of the night is a blur...

Gabe prepping to say "This Is Totally Awesome!" (note the Zeke banner in the background)

Saturday

This was it - the big blowout night. It took every bit of will power that I could muster up to get it going tonight. It was pretty easy since The Cult were playing a surprise show at Stubbs for Revolver Magazine. It couldn’t have worked out any better since the show was over by 8:30 or 9, and didn’t stand in the way of all the other parties / shows. Apparently Nikki Sixx was there - but I didn’t see him. Gabe & I went out to watch the show from a better vantage point (god-damn it was cold out) and after the show Jeff and Jason tried to give me some bullshit story about how Nikki Sixx took a photo with them. This turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’ll relay this about The Cult show. If you saw them back in their day — they kinda sucked live. I’ve seen them a couple of times in the last year or two — and they are SO MUCH BETTER that it’s totally worth the price of admission to see them. And, if you are a Cult fan, the new material that they are releasing later this year sounded pretty good. I’m looking forward to hearing the studio versions.

After the Cult, our group made our way to Emo’s to catch the Man’s Ruin / Junk Records showcase. Jeff and I discovered a cool band called the B-Movie Rats who’s singer reminded me of Vince Neil circa "Girls, Girls, Girls".

Nebula was playing on the main stage, and Gabe took the show in with me. Gabe hadn’t seen Nebula before, and after the show he turned and said to me "Thank You. I am stunned. I think I stood there with my mouth wide open for the entire show. That guy can play guitar!"

BUT, while Gabe and I were appreciating the rock, Jeff and Jason ran into Nikki Sixx, and took a picture with him.

Jeff and Jason w/ Nikki Sixx — Long live the CRUE!

The big event for Saturday night was the Spin party where the doors didn’t open until 1 AM. Very exclusive, invite/passes only - no guests. I even saw Ian Asturbury (singer for The Cult) outside getting turned away at the door... how cool am I? I just walked in right past him. Anyway, I was pretty hazy when I got there, but once I was inside, it seemed to me that this party took place in a grade school or something. But I digress, the Jim Beam and Cola’s were free once again, and that was bad news. This party pretty much has "disaster" written all over it for my friends & me. I ran into my friend Melanie, and got a chance to catch up with an old friend. The party was so smoky that it was making me ill. My clothes from that night smell just like an ashtray. And now, everything in my suitcase does as well. One of the bands they had playing at the party was pretty good - Idlewild (sp?) and we should have known that if free booze was involved - then we were destined to run into Toe. I only chatted with him briefly, but Jeff said that Toe accidentally knocked the both of them on the ground, and Jim and Coke went everywhere. That was a good laugh.

Anyway, I couldn’t take the smoke and heat and crowded mess anymore, and made my way outside - only to find out that it was an hour wait to get back in. I didn’t really care because I had had enough at that point. I BS’d with Natalie, and some other folks, and after a while I looked at my watch and realized that it was about 5 am. I hadn’t seen any of the other guys in a long time, and assumed that they had gone home. So I make my way back to the hotel to find out that no one was there. I gleefully jumped into bed and passed out while watching Fight Club on HBO.

I was awakened by the o so soothing sounds of Jeff and Jason exchanging exclamations at the top of their lungs like: "Dude! That was BADASS!" and "We fuckin’ RULE!" etc. Then they jumped on me and were like "wake up man, it’s time to party!" I looked at the clock (it was 6 AM) and politely declined. But that didn’t stop the madness. Jeff decided that our leftover warm Budweiser would be the drink of choice for the morning - but that didn’t last long. He started shaking it up and spraying it all over the windows etc. Then it was nothing but stories for 20 minutes about all of the debauchery of the evening. I didn’t mind, they were having a good time, and I was tired enough to actually doze off during this exchange. Pretty soon, they all decided it would be a good idea to walk down to IHOP for breakfast, and I was asleep before the door closed.

Oddly enough, I was the first one out of bed in the morning and came to the realization that we had to check out in an hour. This was no small task - our room had taken on the look of a cross between goodwill $.99 bin and a wrecked Bosnian town. But we made it, said our goodbyes to Jason and Gabe, and Jeff and I made our way to the four seasons down the street to crash with Jaime until it was time to go.

I was starved because I hadn’t eaten anything in over 24 hours, so while Jeff slept, Jaime and I headed down to the restaurant to get some food. While we split a $13 hamburger and an $8 side salad, two of the three Hanson brothers sat down next to us. How weird is that? Afterwards, while making my way through the lobby, I saw a couple of guys from The Cult hanging out.

What an excellent way to leave Austin. So, here I sit on the plane. It’s really hot, and I’m bored as hell and the movie sucked. Not surprisingly, Jeff is passed out next to me. The movie ended, and they are showing re-runs of Laverne and Shirley right now. The Fonz is making a guest appearance. For whatever reason, he just kissed Laverne and then Shirley, and now the two of them are positively swooning. Laverne and Shirley live in a basement, and so do I. the end