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  Game Movie Reviews
by Jenn Lackey
To See or Not To See
  Bus One Seven
by Roderick Armageddon
A sore butt and carpal tunnel syndrome aren't the only problems with video games
  Pin the Tie on the Yuppie
by Montana Dove Wojczuk
A Game and How to Play
  Party Games
Try These at Home! Invite Your Neighbors!
  Lists
  Taglines for the Proposed Downtown Portland Casino
  Parker Brothers Rejected Board Game Ideas

Winners Cheat and Cheaters Win
by

I remember the first and last time I got caught cheating. It was the most valuable learning experience of my entire high school education. Señor Abrahamson was my Spanish class teacher. By my junior year, I was halfway through my required two years of non-immersive foreign language studies. In that time, I developed a strong rapport with Abrahamson and became comfortable with my cognitive learning habits. Unfortunately, those habits occasionally included cheating.

Friday was test day in Spanish class, and once a month they were grande. I vividly recall the mid-morning sunshine cascading across the desks on one such Friday. The light would offer me additional cover, I thought. In my English class an hour earlier, I had taken the time to put together crib notes that I could view between my legs while Abrahamson was distracted by his usual pacing. The test had gone well for me, as I'd nailed every vocabulary word and was going for the bonus points when disaster struck.

Being one of the only cheaters on this particular test, it meant I was the only one armed with the knowledge to answer the difficult bonus questions. By the time I jotted down the answer to the second to last question, everyone else's pencils were down and they were impatiently waiting for me to finish up. Being greedy cost me dearly. Instead of announcing the final bonus question, Abrahamson uttered words that would etch into my mind forever.

"Lewis, tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing. You wouldn't do that to me, would you?"

He walked up to my desk and asked me to cough it up. My cheeks grew hot enough to boil water. There was no point in playing dumb, so I gave him the cheat sheet. I was embarrassed and defeated, yet I was surprised by Abrahamson's next move.

"Lewis, I'm very disappointed in you. Why would you do such a thing? I'm going to have to give you a zero on this test. I hope you and your classmates learn that cheaters never win, and winners never cheat."

For some reason, I was expecting much worse. I could live with one 0, but I didn't want to experience the feeling of humiliation ever again. While it may not have been the last time I cheated, it certainly altered my study behavior and approach to test taking. From that point on, whenever I felt the urge to cheat, I'd hear Abrahamson's voice say, "Lewis, you shouldn't do that to yourself."

Speaking of things you shouldn't do by yourself, watching movies can be dangerous if they make you fall asleep while smoking. Jenn Lackey reviews a few of our favorite game-themed movies we guarantee will keep you awake.

If the idea of pushing a token across a piece of reinforced cardboard does little for your cerebral cortex, perhaps you've already succumbed to the power of video games. After years of research and interviews with psychologists, Rod Armageddon has a top ten list that just might make you reconsider any future HALO tournaments.

For those of you that prefer a more active form of entertainment, what better than to thumb your nose at materialists of the 80's? Montana shares one of her most memorable and enjoyable family games: Pin the Tie on the Yuppie. If you take offense to any references to your sordid past, you may prefer two party games invented by Anvil team members.

Not feeling particularly festive? If you'd prefer to relax your mind with a lighter fare, consider this month's lists: Taglines for the Proposed Downtown Portland Casino and Parker Brothers Rejected Board Game Ideas. Don't forget to visit our gallery this month, it's all fun and games.

If you've enjoyed reading Anvil and are interested in supporting the free ezine, we have a few opportunities for consideration. First and foremost, we're always looking for talented writers and artists to contribute. We're also looking for a marketing intern to help increase Anvil's visibility with potential readers and other constituents (i.e. parole officers and former Spanish teachers). If you have interest in either, please review the About Us section and contact us for details.