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Best Excuses to Avoid Gardening:

  • Concrete lawn doesn’t require much water or weeding
  • Only got 37 Burpee catalogues this year
  • Hay fever in family bloodline
  • What? And get rid of the '73 Impala? On cinder blocks?
  • Save the environment while extending the life of your lawnmower: don’t water
  • Don’t like the looks of that rhododendron bush
  • I have to support the NHL strike in my own way
  • Can't see the lawn for all the beer cans
  • Tired of changing fluorescent tubes and looking for wiretaps
  • Garden Weasel isn't the same after I got it "fixed"
  • I refuse to kill anything, especially Aphids
  • Damn terra cotta gnomes eat the strawberries when I'm not looking
  • Waiting for Monsanto to create a genetically altered Hefeweizen tomato
  • Used the last of the chicken wire to build a playpen





From Seed to Speed
by Jenn Lackey
Growing the Biodiesel Market


Bad Seed in the Air
by Joel Gunz
Why Hitchcock’s villains don’t dwell in the shadows, but in your mirror


Bus One Seven: Sowing the Seeds
by Roderick Armageddon
Ten reasons why every man should answer nature's call


The Heart Is a Lonely Editor
by Greg Coyle
A bit of editorial license


Viral Marketing: Miracle Cure or Common Cold?
by Kent Lewis
What you don't know about the marketing craze can kill you


Notes From Above Ground by Franny French Marketing Meeting as Bedroom Discourse


Best Excuses to Avoid Gardening

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