Best Excuses to Avoid Gardening:
- Concrete lawn doesn’t require much water or weeding
- Only got 37 Burpee catalogues this year
- Hay fever in family bloodline
- What? And get rid of the '73 Impala? On cinder blocks?
- Save the environment while extending the life of your lawnmower: don’t water
- Don’t like the looks of that rhododendron bush
- I have to support the NHL strike in my own way
- Can't see the lawn for all the beer cans
- Tired of changing fluorescent tubes and looking for wiretaps
- Garden Weasel isn't the same after I got it "fixed"
- I refuse to kill anything, especially Aphids
- Damn terra cotta gnomes eat the strawberries when I'm not looking
- Waiting for Monsanto to create a genetically altered Hefeweizen tomato
- Used the last of the chicken wire to build a playpen