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The Soap Box
by Jeremy French

  After working day after day in the bowels of technology, I somehow have yet to grow numb to the fact that ignorance and hatred is still en vogue across the majority of the nation. Funny, isn’t it? We can coordinate and develop technology to the point of making our microwave ovens talk to our toaster and then give us outstanding deals on toaster pastries, but we still get itchy pants at the thought of sitting down and chatting about ethnic, racial or sexual diversity. Really, is it that tough?

After attending Portland’s annual Gay Pride parade and then Peacock in the Park, probably the Northwest’s largest drag extravaganza - held outdoors at the Washington Park Rose Gardens, I thought it timely to share a short letter I received from a close friend of mine regarding the recent popularity (or is it infamy) of Dr. Laura Schlessinger. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of hearing the good doctor, please feel free to check out http://www.drlaura.com. I’m especially impressed with her merchandise collection - can’t wait to get my hands on a mug and sweatshirt.

If Dr. Laura’s site isn’t your bag and you like the idea of sharing in the beauty and difficulty of pro-active diversity, check out the Human Rights Campaign; click to http://www.hrc.org/ and read about what’s going on across the nation… it might enrage you or worse yet, it might just motivate you.

Stepping down,
Jeremy French


Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination; end of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other, specific laws and how best to follow them.

§ When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9); the problem is with my neighbors… they claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

§ I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? I’ve consulted numerous sales professionals and they object to my line of questioning; is there a "blue book" of sorts for this trade?

§ I know that I am not allowed contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual "uncleanliness" (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, aside from having women carry a sign announcing the fact, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense; I’m dealing with a lawsuit over the subject as we speak.

§ Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us… a friend of mine claims that this rule applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. I prefer Canadian labor because I live in the Pacific Northwest and transportation would be substantially less; can you clarify on this subject?

§ I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or should I contract someone to take care of it for me? If so, do you have any links I could follow?

§ A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I say an abomination is an abomination is an abomination. Is there a guide on the severity and classification of abominations? Can you settle this?

§ Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I do wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? My insurance doesn’t cover laser surgery and I was hoping there might be an amendment to this clause.

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Sincerely,
Grateful fan
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