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Longish   Excited Atoms and Stimulated Emissions by David Lytle  Sex education with eye protection   Bus One Seven by Roderick Armageddon Porno for Politicians     Shortish   The Peep Show Reviews of Today’s Adult Cinema   Party Games Pornuary Who Do I Screw?    Lists   CONSUMER ALERT: Questionable book and movie titles   Out of Sites by Jeff Gores   Good web sites or good laughs? Find them both here.

Sex Cells
by Kent Lewis

We all know sex sells, but it also pays, very well. The Internet just happens to be the most prolific medium for smut, thanks to its cost-effective reach and ease of commerce. Many enterprising individuals have made a mint developing e-commerce sex-related Web sites. We all know why sex has such a lure: It's in our DNA.

Sex has evolved from basic reproduction to a form of ultimate commerce. Women and men alike sell their bodies on the streets to make a living. Many male college students have paid for their new stereos by making frequent deposits at the local sperm bank. The most popular TV show in the world, Baywatch, didn’t get there by riding the coattails of David Hasselhoff’s singing career.

So what's next? If you've seen Spielberg's ''A.I.,'' and Nyman’s "Gattaca" then you know what to expect. In a few years’ time, lucky parents will have the opportunity to create the child of their dreams by simply selecting attributes out of a catalog. Those traditionally blessed with strong genes will become Seattle Slew-style studs, offering up their genetic makeup to the highest bidder. Sex, it's in our jeans.

When it comes to educating children about the birds and the bees, some parents and teachers elect to take a roundabout approach. David Lytle outlines an unusual example in his piece, "Excited Atoms and Stimulated Emissions." Eye protection is highly recommended.

No need to worry, your right to review the above materials is protected by the U.S. Constitution. Or is it? Roderick Armageddon explores this very issue in his latest column, "Porno for Politicians." Warning: this article may be offensive to Republicans.

On the shorter side, no pun intended, we’ve managed to get permission to publish reviews of the latest porn movie, "Lord of the Cockrings." You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll reach for more Jergens. Must be 18 years of age or older to view.

Since Anvil is a family ezine, we wanted to balance the ever-popular porn movie reviews with child-approved content. Our more conservative editors developed a consumer alert to provide confused parents a list of books and movies that are 100% safe for family viewing. No need to thank us.

Once the kiddies are safely tucked in bed, pull a chair up to the computer and log on to enjoy another edition of Out of Sites, where Jeff Gores takes us on a sex-filled journey through the Web. We heartily recommend a bag of fresh microwave popcorn and what’s left of the Jergens.