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CONSUMER ALERT:
The following titles are found to be 100% safe for family consumption

 

At today’s mass-market book and video stores there is an abundance of disgusting, perverted, base and shockingly explicit material. What’s most disturbing perhaps is that these decidedly adult selections are mixed in with ordinary family entertainment, causing consumers to inadvertently take home a film or book entirely different from what they had in mind. Grossly misleading titles have caused this consumer to waste countless hours of reading and viewing time, and I offer this column as a public service. I hope I can help you to avoid making the same innocent mistakes that I have made.

The following is a list of films and books that are not dirty in the least.

BOOKS
Turn of the Screw
Hard Times
Howard’s End
I and My Chimney
Wood Bender’s Handbook
Comes a Stranger
The Firm
A Brief History of Time: From the Big Bang to Black Holes
A Nation of Sheep
Life of Johnson
Come Again in the Spring
Wood and How to Dry It
The Valley Below
Diving for Pleasure and Treasure
Back Door Britain

MOVIES
The 400 Blows
Bang the Drum Slowly
Pull My Daisy
Up Your Alley
The Deep End
Goin’ South
The Harder They Come
The Third Man
Eat the Rich
Dick
Comes a Horseman
Up the Junction
In Like Flint
Back Door to Hell
Come on George