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Fitting Into Truth
Straight eye for the queer guy
by
"He's gay."
"Oh, really? Did you ask him?"
"No. But, my 'gay-dar' went off while I was talking to him on the phone."
"How can you tell that just over the phone?"
"His voice; I can tell from his voice."
The most volatile fuel for a rumor on an Internet bulletin board is a half-baked verification -- made from one part observation, one part hefty jump to a conclusion. But the woman I was chatting with on Yahoo was a journalist by trade. Perhaps there were new standards of reporting that I didn't know about.
I decided to keep her speculation to myself, just in case.
A few years ago, after following up on a video entitled "How to Dance Properly," I and thousands of others discovered the obscure web site of zefrank.com. Along with humorous instructional videos, the site also houses a hodgepodge collection of interactive games, animations, online toys, and my personal favorite, a draw-your-own kaleidoscope. At first glance, one may not be fully impressed by the work presented here -- until you find out that they were all created and designed by a self-taught computer artist.
Now in its third year, the site is owned and administered by Ze (pronounced "Zay") Frank and has added a bulletin board for use by some of Ze's more devoted fans. The feature gives people a place where they can interact in an ongoing Fiction Project or just chat among themselves. As the administrator of the bulletin board, Ze makes an occasional appearance, but he usually leaves his fans to do most of the daily communication.
Thus, any communication with Ze outside of the margins of the internet is seen as a minor coup among the members. The journalist did have convincing evidence to support her "gay-dar" speculation. For example, while invitations to his "miscellaneous activities" feature hundreds half-naked (or fully naked) women, they were never mentioned other than to joke about them. Plus, no one has ever heard anything about his private life and in the latest video performance where he plays himself, Ze's voice sounded, well . effeminate.
Things didn't stack well for female groupies of the 31-year old playful designer who liked to take digital videos of his cat in his apartment.
The possible gayness of Ze was approached again after several rounds at the Hog Pit, a country-western dive bar in the meatpacking district in New York City. A few bulletin board members agreed to meet up in New York for a weekend. This made it convenient for Ze, who lives in the city, to be a guest of honor for an evening. I noticed his voice lost the effeminateness heard so often in his video performances online, but I decided long ago that pitch doesn't mean anything. Taking a breather while checking out the neighborhood graffiti and the lights of Hoboken, one of the girls nervously whispers into my ear, "Do you think he's . gay?"
I had had enough. I decided to end the rumor mill.
"So Ze, are you gay?"
He laughs, "No. But I get that a lot."
"I was really hoping he was," the same girl mentioned at breakfast the next morning, among clearer heads and diner coffee, "it would have made it easier to understand him."
Amanda Rust currently wanders her Portland home with her shoelaces untied. Send her compelling reasons to tie them at .
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