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sponsored
by
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| A brief
summary for those too lazy to read the book Have you ever felt out-of-touch with a coworker, friend or significant other? Michael Brooks thinks he has a few answers. "Instant Rapport" is a collective of research, theory and case studies on how to instantly connect with others. Ideally, after reading this book, you should be able to: -Control the way others perceive you -Dissolve communications barriers -Create more intimacy and fulfilling personal relationships -Alter someone else’s mood behavior -Negotiate more effectively -Increase sales, improve productivity and advance your career  Surprisingly,
Brooks strategies have merit. He starts by defining rapport and the
representational strategic inventory. The inventory consists of visual,
auditory and kinesthetic representational types. As you may be able to guess, visually oriented people tend to communicate through visual cues, even if it’s verbal (i.e. "see you later!"). Similarly, auditory people may provide insight into their preference by saying "sounds good." Lastly, kinesthetic people prefer to "feel good." Simply by listening to what a person is saying, and how they say it, you can understand their preference (V, A or K) and connect with them by communicating with similar terms. It doesn’t stop there though. Regardless of representational type, people also provide additional insight via eye accessing cues. When answering a question, people tend to access a portion of their brain visually, or by looking a specific direction, as if to aid the response. For instance, a person looking up and to the right, is accessing visual constructed images, or images never seen before. Someone looking up and to the left is accessing visual remembered images, or images recalled the way they were originally seen. Similarly, a person looking directly right is accessing auditory constructed sounds; to the left, they are accessing auditory remembered sounds. Lastly, if a person looks down and to the right, they are accessing their kinesthetic side, or sensations, feelings and emotions. If they look down and to the left, they are accessing auditory dialogue, or an internally conversation. How does one use this information to their advantage? Basically, you can tell not only where they are coming from, but also whether they are authentic. If you ask a friend if they saw your wallet last night, and they so "no" while looking up and to the right, they are probably lying. They are constructing an image of not seeing it versus actually remembering what they saw. Keep in mind the direction of glance means the exact opposite for lefties. But wait, there’s more, Brooks outlines the mirroring or matching process, which simply involves imitating the movements, body language, breathing and voice of the person you are talking to. Since each person has a unique way of communicating, it makes sense that they would connect with someone that has a similar style. When the person you are talking to leans forward and takes a deep breath before speaking, do the same. Be careful not to mimic, or mirror them exactly, put a slight pause, perhaps a small variation in your routine. "Instant Rapport" is insightful and interesting, not to mention effective. While the book can get a little tedious to weed through and strategies complex, it’s definitely worth a read. Did I mention the last chapter is on sexual rapport? I’d tell you more about it but I’m busy, if you get my drift. |
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