Top Ten Least Effective Ways to Fill Out Your Voter's Ballot
- When asked to vote for Bush or Kerry, write in "whomever wins The Apprentice"
- With tap shoes on, complete the ballot while tapping to "Kiss Me Kate"
- Signing your name as "Dangling Chad"
- Punch holes, as indicated, using your fist
- Fill in circles completely, using disappearing ink
- Smoke signal
- Hold the pencil in your mouth, close your eyes, and THRUST
- Read the ballot out loud while in the voter's booth
- Ask the person next to you if Bush is the one with the cute little Scotty
- Before entering the booth, ask if they have a copy of "Voting for Dummies"
