List: Least Viable Reasons to Put Anvil on Hiatus

• Sorting through piles and piles of fan mail gave me a bad case of letter-opening elbow
• Had an opportunity to save up to 20 percent on my car insurance
• Needed more time to complete acquisition talks with The Onion
• Addiction to venti decaf non-fat mochas made writing difficult
• Wife didn't appreciate the frequent marriage proposals from adoring readers
• Now able to take the family on a vacation in blogosphere
• Refused to write a formal apology to the White House for recent Bush article
• Threat of legal action from Quixtar just too much to bear
• Needed more time to rewind CD and MP3 collection
• Discovered that drinking like Hemingway didn't mean I could write like Hemingway
• Needed to re-tool Anvil for Second Life
• Finally admitted to myself that the terrorists have won